That thing that goes off in the highest pitch ever scares the living shit out of me, and I’m a dog. I’m a kick-ass, laid back dog, but that horrific screaming chirping thing sends me to my people’s closest looking for the darkest, quietest place.

But that doesn’t even help. I’m a dog for fuck’s sake, and I can still hear that horrible white, round bird that lives on the ceiling.

It rattles my nerves. Literally!

As I tried to escape it, I actually started shaking. It was uncontrollable. It wasn’t until my mom took the bird off the ceiling and pulled out its guts that the noise stopped. I was so shaken up. I tried to climb out of the window, but my mom found me and sat down on the sofa with me. She let me curl up next to her, and she petted me and talked nice to me and rubbed my ears until I calmed down.

I fucking hate that bird!